#guy. doesnt know what to do.
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always caught between 'im taking necessary rest' and 'actually im probably just avoiding hard things and am plain weak' =3=
#guy. doesnt know what to do.#actually i am in fact doing better than expected because both messages i needed to send today have been handled and now its just.#waiting for the corresponding parties to give the next sign. which i can handle with a normal amount of anxiety :)#it just feels upsetting to NEED rest. i think if i tried i didn't NEED this therefor getting it is stupid and dumb and BAD.#the little therapy voice is saying 'you are just avoiding staying at school because its scary' but i have to scream I AM TIRED. I NEED THIS#and then it will just ignore me because. what if it is right.#why am i falling into the same loop ive had since i was eleven.#i dont WANT to ignore important things and skip out on school just because i dont feel like it.#(<- 'dont feel like it' == is physically unwell at the idea of going)#<- and in my mind that STILL isnt enough reason to skip because. school is important. this is a group project and im failing them.#surely my suffering can be extended for a day if it means going to school (<- number 1 important thing. especially over health)#erm.#sillyposting#anyway despite crying about my struggle it still. isnt justifiable. isnt life fun =w=
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
#i know this sounds like the 'bad guy falls for good guy' which can be fun but thats not what i mean#anyway. this wasn't quite zukka but i do think it aligns with my au of zuko not dying on the throne and sokka retiring his sword to paint#and living like piandao in the mountains. urging zuko to retire and zuko no longer needing fire bending and not knowing what to do with#himself if he doesnt have to fight#so he uses his bending to make tea instead :)#aka this is how divorced zukka can still get together#zuko being upset bc sokka chose work over them in the first place but so dodnhe#but he gets a second chance in retirement#if he can give it up
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the high guards littlest fan
#bumblebee#b 127#soundwave#shockwave#transformers one#transformers#the high guard#i think its really funny that this iteration of bee doesnt really care about being small#like tfa bee gets all mad and aggro about it but b127 is just like 'cos u guys a bigger than me! u know what i mean u know what i mean'#i do think hed be like “why didnt i grow 😧” after everyone gets their cogs though LOOOL#funfact bee WITH a cog is only like a bit taller than d16 WITHOUT a cog#dee is like so huge though#keegan michael key said that his fave transformer is soundwave#and he actually improved the voice he does when bee says his nickname off of soundwaves voice#and that he really like shis voice#so of course im making bee soundwave fan number 1
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im not american but some of you guys are just fucking stupid ong what do you MEAN youre not gna vote because you disagree with like one part of what youre voting for. like okay me when im fucking thick
#you guys are being FUCKING STUPUD#vote i actually swear to fucking god dont be THICK#“genocide joe” yeah i agree hes supporting a genocide thats a face#fact*#but hes three billion times better than trump in EVERY OTHER WAY???????#USE YOUR COMMON FUCKING SENSE#genuinely its not hard#“dont vote guys both parties are bad” ARE YOU STUUUUUUPID ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID IM GONNA BEAT YOU UP#would you rather a) have rights + disagree with one policy or b) be imprisoned for basically just being alive + disagree with every policy#YOURE FUCKING STUPID#like im not gonna force you to vote for someone or to vote at all but Jesus fucking christ#mate do you want rights or not#do you want the ENTIRE PLANET to suffer because of something you think gives you moral superiority (hint: IT DOESNT)#fucking vote#blah blah!#not 75 stuff#smart posting wow#should i tag#you know what i fucking am because youre STUPID#i dont CARE if you disagree with some of their morals. i agree the ones that you dislike are TERRIBLE but dear fucking lord#idk how to tag wait#kamala harris#joe biden#idk man#just fucking vote#us politics#election 2024#us elections#american politics
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Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.
#ignooore that a5 bonnie doesnt get the nice resolved versions of their discussions with sif.. i still think they can navigate it eventually#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#the dialogue in this kicked my asssss. trying to balance loop's evasiveness and layered meaning...#to spell it out: it's not that loop is actually *that* worried they'll hurt bonnie. it's that they think siffrin is being a fucking idiot#and being extremely sloppy in their protection of their party by trusting them to not be a loose cannon. THEY simply wouldn't#be that irresponsible if it were them!!! hmph!!! ... because they care. and because they maybe Are a little worried.#they don't want that responsibility. they gave that all up. stop making them responsible again. stop stop stop#and as for the other half of the meaning here: get called out idiot. not on purpose of course. bonnie doesn't know (yet).#but it's a brisk reminder of the hypocrisy (since even if loop makes sly reference to their identity to sif all the time... one must wonder#how often it actually sinks in that that's true....? it must be hard to get your head around when you refuse to admit that your habits and#demeanor have changed so drastically since then. like wtf thats not what i would do! clearly a different guy ! faker !! and yet...)#but yeah idk i think about loop and bonnie's relationship a lot. the one party member i dont think loop could ever bring themselves to be#mean to. because cmon. thats a kid. but still... the emotional distance probably stings even worse than usual.#and once bonnie finds out.... ! well. that emotional distance probably stings. even worse. than usual.
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31 year old soggy loser touya that can't drive or stay out after curfew and that was released from prison 7 months ago and has to keep his job at ace hardware and has to go to his meetings and is figuring out how to both apologize and forgive and is so far behind socially among his peers because of all he had to endure during his child/teenagehood my beloved
#he knows how to break open an atm machine but doesnt know how to make anything other than eggs and a grilled cheese#he wants independence so bad but wouldn't know what to do with it if he had it#he cant relate to hardly any other guys his age because he had to grow up too fast and yet is somehow so far behind them#this is basically ptmy btw LMAO maybe i just need to make it a modern no-quirks au and then i'll be able to finish it LOL#✿ thoughts: dabi/touya#now he's mostly stuck at home and just plays video games with his brothers and reads manga and maybe draws or something#all the things he didnt get to do as a kid#and he feels like he's so much better than that and yet he still sits in the living room with natsuo and plays another round
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#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#i feel like i see people bring up this line all tje time to criticize theon and call him awful but its like.#the most blatant obvious line where he looks in the camera and says Haha My Dad Would Beat Me and Call Me Names. Fathers Do That!#and its like. oh my fucking god i knowww . I KNOW people think hes annoying or a piece of shit and he is atrocious dont get me wrong but#hes literally the most blatant metaphor of how abuse can affect a person into who they are#like no shit sherlock he desperately wants the starks to accept him. his actual dad would fucking beat him and he got taken outta that home#and placed in a new one where like one guy liked him as a friend but everyone else was kinda cold#<- WOAH! a metaphor about the foster care system and the way it affects a person.#like fucking obviously he bends over backward to try to get the approval of his peers or have fatherly approval#What else did you expect. Why do you think he makes all those choices ramsay suggests to him about trying to#get the respect of all of his men. he doesnt want to lose the respect. like.#Okay. Done now thank you#grace post
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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“jaime did it mostly for self preservation” “he did it bc he was ordered to kill his father” are not only blatantly incorrect and borderline illiterate reads of what is in the text but idk why people find it unfathomable that someone like jaime would want to prevent thousands of people from violently burning alive. like it is not actually a difficult moral equation which is why it is at the center of jaime’s arc and his relationship to his society because he realizes that the ethical constructs of westeros seem to be in opposition to this very obvious moral choice as seen by how the situation could even escalate to the point that it does through the enablement of the tyrant by the respected institution of the kingsguard and the uncritical upholding of the honor system over an actual coherent moral code. same with the scorn he receives for killing what everybody acknowledges as an objectively horrid tyrant who harmed innocents and violated law that knights are also sworn to protect and uphold and actually contradict by not acting against.
#like u guys r so blinded by agenda posting that it gets mind numbing#seeing ppl that otherwise r not illiterate repeat these points actually kills me#i should be studying but here i am pissing and crying again#and the whole ‘oh he only did it when it was convenient’ that is not the point the point is that he kept upholding what the kg represented#until he was pushed far enough to break and throw it all away#we see that he keeps challenging it and keeps being shut down until it reaches a breaking point#it isnt framed as ‘oh jaime now knows that he can do this bc tywins here haha’#its just he finally reaches the obvious breaking point#bc someone out there has to stop a nuke#and it all becomes clear#jaime doesnt have to be the paragon of virtue to do this but yes he has the awareness and the moral code to do the right thing
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danny and officer martinez's relationship in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" in a nutshell:
Martinez: FREAK! GET YOUR FUCKING KID!
Battinson, on the other side of the crime scene: he don't bite
Martinez, with Nightingale firmly attached his arm, visibly biting him: YES HE DO!
*points at them* Danny is the Bugs Bunny to Martinez's Elmer Fudd.
Another Officer: i can't believe you're fighting with an actual twelve year old. Martinez: i swear to god that is not a twelve year old, that is a little hellion that crawled out of batman's shadow one dark and stormy night and decided to dedicate his existence to tormenting me. Officer: Are you really that mad about him putting a sticky note on your back-- Martinez: thats not the point
in danny's defense: the word "freak" is. a mini beserker button for him for.... obvious ghostly reasons, so like, even if its not directed at him, he still very much unappreciates Martinez's insults at Battinson. Danny may or may not be projecting.
he's not going to hurt the guy! not in any serious or permanently disfiguring way at least! But he is going to leave mean sticky notes on the square part of his spine that he can't reach, and stick salt in his 3AM Late Night Crime Scene Coffee, and kick the bottom of his heel while he's walking so he stumbles. And other petty, infuriating things that tally up and boil over, over time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#blood blossom au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc au#the only thing martinez is right about is the fact that danny is. in fact. NOT twelve.#he's just shrimpy because he's half-dead#there's eventually a 'martinez vs nightingale' board in the precinct called the beef board. it tallies every time one of them gets got by#the other. danny is currently in the lead by a wide margin. martinez is very limited in what he can do bc of multiple reasons. but one#of them is the fact that batman HAS punched a cop before. three actually. and he won't hesitate to punch another if martinez actually did#anything to harm nightingale. and also nightingale shows up so rarely and doesnt stick around long enough for martinez to retaliate#or properly plan ahead. its kinda a wild card whether or not nightingale pops up on the scene.#nightingale: i am just a little guy!! the littlest of boy!! baddabing-baddaboom! you wouldn't do nothin to a little guy would'ya?#battinson who atp knows full well that if it werent for the blood blossom danny could turn martinez into a red smear: *would you?*#danny: if it werent for the laws of this land i would have committed acts of violence against You Specifically :)#and also like. every single other officer insulting batman and callin him a freak. they're not safe either martinez is just the poor sucker#that i have a name to give the face to#danny's a good kid but also i don't picture him totally.. hm... mentally stable? he's a little spicy. as a treat.#he's kind at his core but also he found his family's corpses and was isolated from society for 4 months by his abusive godfather and was#poisoned with quite literally the only toxin capable of destroying him entirely and can no longer (currently) use his powers without dying#instantly. so he's! he's doing his best! like between being chaotic and being kind he's def gonna choose being kind but also.#he's living on borrowed time and is in a constant active state of being slowly eaten alive by his own bloodstream. it weighs on ya psyche#danny's barely even processed his family's death and now he's got all this other trauma stacked on top to address. he is Windows EXP rn#tormenting martinez is just. an itty bitty way he can let loose some of the stress he's ignoring.#considering danny's alternate timeline was: world annihilation. he thinks he's doing pretty well all things considered
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a little family
#buddy daddies#my art#doodles#sometimes a family is an two misfit assassins and the daughter of the guy you offed and thats a okay#but lets not talk about that#we love healing in this house and how do you heal if not after suffering#reis journey through depression and kazukis journey through grief#what 1 little girl does to a man#its 5 am all i can offer are doodles but i love them very much#i know we do reasonably get to call them cowards for not making it gay (esp at the end bc come on)#but i do love whatever relationship they have going becuase theyre just. Thats marriage babe....#theyre not going to be doing any dating with that committment that is the most domestic ass setting ive ever seen#everyone and their mother assumes theyre married/dating and doesnt even question it because theres NO QUESTION T O ASK#only the people involved apparently dont know theyre married#ok nvm they were cowards for not making it gay. but again. theyre clearly married your honor. theyre just a little stupid
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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Even though you are this short. You have a problem with that? [...] So what? You are taller than me. Big deal. You are so cute. ...I'm not finished yet.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 13
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#i love when ai di goes crazy gremlin eyes anger pout with a hand on chen yi's throat and chen yi is just looking at his lips#like dude. dude.#absolutely no resistance either. no. anything. just intense gazing the Whole Time.#he is perfectly content to let ai di do whatever. :)#the way he doesnt try removing ai di's hand either just puts his own hand on top of his like#let me gently and lovingly hold the hand that is trying to choke me#absolute definition of whipped and he doesnt fucking hold back. HE'S SO NEEDY.#AND ITS WONDERFUL. AND AI DI ACCEPTS IT BUT HE STILL DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. IT STILL TAKES HIM ABACK.#it still shocks him like. the depth of the affection and attention he's getting. like it takes his breath away#when he's like. ah. the mortifying ordeal of being known. and then short circuits when chen yi doesnt let him pull away imgjklhjg#im stuck in microexpression hell forever with these guys. im never getting out.
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Drawing them like this feels so so wronggggg
#aki is such a snob we should all collectively give him a swirly#akihiko doesnt even fit his name this is just some snob guy named winston or something#minako is so fun and bubbly i can see this being a possible final design :3#shinji on the other hand.... yikes#i believe that atlus actually totally forget that shinji suppose to be associated with Aki and also be at the same age as he is#like....this is literally just a grown ass man working in an advertising agency#hell i bet they probably draw the underpaid in house designer and was like “fuck! we just drew the new intake!” and scrapped him altogether#i think atlus knows what it will do to the shinji girlies if they kept his stubble though smh COWARDS ☝️#anyway nobody asked but this isnt a good week for me and i just cry most of the days lol#but for this drawing i immediately stopped crying and locke tf in until i finished and continue sobbing 👍👍👍#asukart#persona 3#persona 3 reload#persona 3 portable#shinjiro aragaki#kotone shiomi#minako arisato#persona 3 femc#akihiko sanada
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"Why am I still doing this?"
"Don't you get it?"
"This is all just a show... and we're playing parts~"
#junie art post#utmv#ink sans#swap sans#dream sans#yea that lyric is from the undertale musical... it was fitting#anyways#you know how back then star sanses were 'fight evil (bad sanses) do good!!' i mean... it still is. but back then it was more...innocent?#*looks at the steven universe star sanses cover i saved on my phone*#ultimately tho...how much do u think ink plays along with that as nothing more than a script given to him#because really. ink is more of a stagehand than a stage performer#and for ink that job comes with knowledge that makes it hard to perform#like you guys ever think more about how ink struggles to view the people around him as “real” (like him) and not characters?#i think about it a lot.#especially. in his 'star sanses' era#to me theres always this nonchalance(?) he treats other sanses 'backstory' and maybe the character themself if he interacts with them#because he cant really treat them as 'real' people#you get what i mean???#THAT DOESNT MEAN HE STAYS LIKE THIS FOREVER. HE CAN GET DEVELOPMENT. LOOK AT ZEPHYRTOP RP. PRIME EXAMPLE.#you see i imagine star sanses as like this cute tv show like madoka magica. starts off cute. ends with you in a crisis#dream is easily the protag in my eyes. comes out with no clue how long its been and explores with fresh eyes. meets swap. meets ink#then they fight evil! cool multiverse exploration! undertale shenanigans!!!!#dream and swap go thru their character arcs#and ink stays suspiciously stagnant#until we get THIS reveal and theres that implication that hes been also behind the scenes nudging things along to 'improve the story'#'anything for the entertainment of the Creators!'#ISNT THAT MESSED UP?? ISNT THAT G R E A T#utmv fanart#ink!tale#underswap
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